The letter
by brittekit
Summary: After Bella said yes to marriage with Edward, Jacob left. Now on the evening before her wedding, Bella is doubting her decision and goes to La push to visit Billy. He gives her a letter that Jacob left for her and after reading this she goes after him...
1. The truth will set you free

_**Bella's POV**_

It all started with that damn letter! I knew in my heart that I loved Edward and that I wanted to become a vampire and spend the rest of eternity with him. Now why did Jacob have to make me doubt all of that. He just had to go and kiss me like that, and then say goodbye, for real this time…

I'm sittin' here in some shaggy motel somewhere in Canada… Because that's where Jacob was known to be, last time the pack was in contact with him. You wanna know how I got here instead of being on my honeymoon with Edward? Let me start by taking you back to the evening before my wedding…

I was sitting in my room thinking about the wedding and Jacob and everything that's happened lately, when my phone rang. It was Alice.

"Hey Alice."

"Hey Bella, you want me to come over? We'll have our own little bachelorette party?"

"Alice, that sounds like a lot of fun, but being that it's probably the last night I get to spend with my dad, I'm gonna pass. I was thinking about cooking some dinner and watching a movie with him, you know kind of as a last goodbye.."

"Oh Bella, that sounds great. He'll love it, I'm sure."

"I hope so. I don't think he's ever going to forgive me for what I'm about to do.."

"Bella, he loves you more than life itself, I think he would forgive you for just about anything. Hey…not to tear up old wounds or anything, but…. have you heard anything from Jacob yet?"

"No, he's still missing. I heard my dad and Billy talk on the phone yesterday. Of course my dad doesn't know the full story, so he just keeps on looking for him like he would every other missing person. The problem is, that not even the pack knows whether it's a person or a wolf they have to look for. They kind of think that he's traveling in his human form now, cause they haven't been able to contact him for a while. And he wouldn't be able to tune them all out for so long. The last time they heard anything from him, he was in Canada. That's where the trail ends. This was a week ago, when me and my dad where with Billy. When my dad was gone for a moment, Billy told me everything that my dad couldn't hear. I really hope he's ok. I kind of miss him…"

"I'm sorry for the way things worked out Bella… We all are."

"Yeah, I know. It's ok, it's not your fault. Hey Alice, I'm gonna go. I think I better start getting diner ready so, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'm coming over first thing in the morning to help you get ready. See you tomorrow. Sleep tight Bella."

"Yeah, thanks. Goodnight. My love to all of you."


	2. Home is where the heart is

_**Bella's POV**_

Talking about Jacob, I started pondering over everything again. Was I really making the right choice? And if I was, why did I have this nagging feeling in my heart that something very important was missing in my life? Thinking about everything, I couldn't even imagine my life without Jacob, let alone an eternity without ever seeing or hearing from him ever again. The nagging feeling in my chest started to grow and I just had to go to la push…maybe for the last time…

I went downstairs and I told my dad I was going to la push to visit Billy. He just nodded with a sad look on his face. Even he was missing Jacob. My decision was effecting more people than I thought. I went outside and went straight for my truck. Even though Edward bought me a new car, I just loved my truck too much. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Jacob fixed it up? Anyway I still drove my truck everywhere, even though I told Edward I was driving the new one. So I got in my truck and started my way to la push. Going down that road it just felt so right. Everything was just so confusing right now and I was doubting everything. The whole drive there I kept hoping and praying that maybe Jacob was back already and in his excitement Billy just forgot to tell people… I knew it was stupid, but still I kept hoping. Coming up to the Black house, my hope was still great the whole way to the door. Of course my hope was shattered when it was Billy who opened the door and I could see from afar the garage was still locked tight. Billy closed it the day Jacob left. I guess it hurt too much.

"Oh, hey Bella."

"Hey Billy, I guess I'm not the person you where hoping it to be, huh? (I understood completely)

"No, It's fine Bella, come in."

I walked in to the house and the smell immediately reminded me of Jacob. I remembered back to when he came to my room at night and the next morning I just had to see him. So I pushed passed Billy and went to his room. He was sleeping and he looked so beautiful and peaceful. That's a memory I'll definitely never forget.

"Shouldn't you be getting some sleep for the big day tomorrow Bella?"

Auch, that one really hurt… No unspoken feelings in that one… Pretty subtle Billy…

"I just wanted to see how you guys were doing. I'm really sorry about everything that's been going on lately. I never mend for all of this to happen. I hope you know that."

"Yeah, I know Bella, sorry for snapping at you like that. Anyway, I'm glad you're here actually. I have something for you. I found it this morning."

He went to the counter of the kitchen and took an envelope that was laying on top of it. It said Bella on the back.

"It was laying in Jacob's room on his desk. He left one for me too in my room, but the reason I only found this one this morning is because it was the first time I went in to his room since he left."

He looked so sad saying this. My heart skipped a beat when my mind finally registered, what he was saying…Jacob left me a letter.

"I wanted to bring the letter by today, but I wasn't really sure if you would want me to, so I decided to just leave it and maybe tell you about it the next time you called or something. But now that you're here, I see that as a sign that maybe you do want the letter?"

When he asked it, it sounded more like a statement than a question. All I could do was nod as he was handing the letter to me.

"Go home and read it. Maybe you'll get a better explanation than I did. Maybe you can figure out where exactly he went? "

Geez, no pressure at all Billy…

"Ok Billy, thanks. If I get any clues or something I'll call. Euhm, before I go, I have one more question… "

I paused because I wasn't sure if I should ask it or not.

"What is it, Bella?"

"I was just wondering if you, euhm,… well if you would… euh…"

"Well…?"

"Well, I was wondering if you where coming to the, euhm…, my wedding tomorrow?"

"Well, (he was looking at me a little funny and kind of sad, it was really creeping my out…) even though I am dead set against it, I promised your father that I would be there. You and your father have always been like family and I know that he would really appreciate me being there. He is my best friend after all so I can't very well stay away, now can I?"

"It wouldn't just be my father who would appreciate it Billy…"

I was on my way out and I gave him an apologetic look, cause I was being really selfish here. I know how much it would hurt Billy to be there and still here I was inviting him…

He gave me a small smile, barely noticeable, right before his face turned all serious again.

I opened the door when Billy spoke again.

"The pack will not be there, you do know that, right Bella?"

"I kind of figured that… I know they might not want it, but give them all my love will you?"

He looked at me and gave me a small nod.

"See you tomorrow. Bye." And with that I left.

I was almost running to my truck, all the while looking at the sealed envelope with my name on it. I couldn't get home fast enough so I could read it. I wondered what he wrote me…? Why couldn't he have just told me what he wanted to say instead of writing me a damn letter? After being curious and intrigued, I kind of got a little angry and sad. Why couldn't he just come back or why couldn't he have just said goodbye to me in person. No, I get a freaking letter. After all that we went through and mend to each other, all I get is a freaking letter? I was getting more pissed the closer I got to home. I threw the door closed with a loud bang and ran up to my room, before Charlie could even ask me what was wrong.

I sat on my bed with the letter in my hands for what seemed like hours, when it was only minutes. I kept looking at the closed envelope, afraid to open it. Afraid of what I would read… Just afraid in general. What if I didn't want to hear what he had to say? What if I didn't like it? I was being selfish again, but I didn't care. I put the letter on my nightstand and decided that I wasn't gonna read it at all. I made my way to the door to go downstairs, but when I opened it, I couldn't get myself to walk trough. My eyes drifted back behind me to the envelope on the nightstand.

I closed the door and went back to sit on the bed. I kept staring at the envelope, the fear never leaving me, when I finally reached for it and decided that I owed him to read it, after all I put him trough. I could at least do him the favor of hearing what he wanted to tell me. I braced myself while ripping the envelope. I opened the letter with a heavy heart and started reading:

_My dear Bella,_

_I wrote you this letter, because I couldn't get myself to say goodbye to you in person. It would just hurt me even more. I hope you understand why I have to leave. I just can't watch you marry him and give up your life and everyone in it. Your rejection already cut trough me like a knife. Watching you leave with him would kill me completely. So to keep my sanity I decided to just be the one to leave first. I don't know where I'm going and I don't really care. All I know is that I'll never come back. I'll be in touch with my family every once in a while, but I will never return. _

_I know you probably hate me for doing so, but I hope after reading this letter, you might find it in your heart to forgive me one fine day. Maybe I'm already dead and buried when you decide to do so, but I will never stop hoping for it. After all, you wouldn't stay mad at your best friend for all eternity, even though you could, now would you?_

_I do still wish you well, Bella. I will always love you and I hope you have a happy life. If you think about me or wish I was there, just look up at the sun, Bella, cause that's what I will always be for you. Your sun. Make sure you are close to the sun and you will feel me there, right beside you. And even though you might not see me, doesn't mean I'm not watching over you. I promise this to you. And please remember me with the wonderful memories and not the bad. _

_Know this Bella, you will always be my best friend, my love and my everything._

_Maybe our paths will cross again one day, maybe not, the future is unsure and still hidden from us, but just like you will forever be in my heart, I hope I will forever be in yours. Goodbye Bella, may life be kind to you and death be peaceful and happy. Treasure this letter and __understand__…_

_Love always,_

_Your personal sun,_

_Jacob Black_

I couldn't stop the tears from running down my face when I finished the letter. I was marrying another man, the man I chose over him, and still he has nothing but love for me.

Suddenly anger was rising again, but it wasn't towards Jacob. I was seriously pissed off with Edward right now. If he hadn't send that damn wedding invite, then maybe Jacob wouldn't have snapped and left like that. Maybe he would still be here. But NO, Edward had to give one last sting to Jacob by letting him know that he won. Bastard!

What the hell is wrong with me? I read one stupid letter and all of a sudden I'm calling my future husband a bastard? Ok Bella, just calm down and maybe go do something else for a while to distract you.

I decided that I was gonna go downstairs and have a little fun with my dad…probably for the last time,…maybe…

Seeing as it was already too late to start cooking dinner now, I decided to just call for pizza.


	3. When one door closes

_**Bella's POV**_

When I opened my door, I could already hear my dad snoring from downstairs. So much for a fun night. When I came down the stairs there he was laying on the couch, fast asleep. With the tv still on. It was the news. Being that I was actually very hungry, I decided to order pizza anyway. For one instead or two perhaps? Or maybe I should order for two, in case Charlie woke up later and got hungry. When I went for the phone a story on the news suddenly caught my attention. I turned the volume up a little, loud enough for me to hear and still quiet enough for Charlie not to wake up.

"A true hero story or just the imagination? in Oakville, Ontario, Canada."

"Earlier today a woman was rescued out of a burning building by a very mysterious man. We're going live to our reporter Melinda on the scene."

"Hey Melinda, I see they're still cleaning up the rubble behind you there. Tell us, what is the story with this mystery man?"

"Well George, nobody seems to know anything about him and because of the smoke and the fire, the woman who was rescued by the man didn't get a very good look at him either. All she could see through the smoke was that he was very tall and muscular and seemed to be dark haired. Before she was taken to the hospital she also informed us that she could seem to remember a smell. She said that even through the smell of the burning wood, she could still make out that he smelled like the forest. A very husky and woodlike smell. She said he was very fast and that he disappeared as soon as they were out of the building. There are very few people here that seem to believe the woman about her mysterious superman, but some do say that they indeed saw a dark figure disappear into the woods after putting the woman down on the ground.

People have been looking for the man since earlier today, but no trace of him can be found. Was it in the woman's imagination and did she get herself to safety, or was she really saved by some kind of superman. Well I guess until the man is found, we will never know."

I turned the volume down again. I didn't need to hear anymore, I was completely sure that it was Jacob who saved that woman. There was a stirring feeling inside of me, saying that I should go after him, and then another feeling saying that I couldn't because I was getting married tomorrow. I didn't know what to do and for the next half hour I was completely clueless as to what I wanted. I was weighing out my options when suddenly there was a knock on the door. I went to see who it was and I could see through the peephole that it was Alice so I opened the door.

She completely stared me down with a sad look on her face. Suddenly she spoke. Every time with an even sadder tone than the last one.

"Oh Bella…"

"What is it, Alice, what's the matter?" (But I guess deep inside I already knew what was wrong as I had made a decision and Alice probably saw it right away)

"You're not getting married tomorrow are you?"

"No."

"You're not gonna become a vampire and be my sister?"

"No."

"And you're not gonna stay with Edward either, right?"

"No. I'm sorry, I know I already decided, but even you know that I didn't really. There were always doubts, and doing nothing but thinking about everything tonight, I realized that the choice I made wasn't right. And I guess I changed my mind. It never felt completely right, Alice, I'm sorry. That's why I always had doubts because even though I thought I was completely sure, I really wasn't. And I guess I just got good at hiding that insecurity from everyone. You know all of this already because you said it yourself, that my future kept changing and disappearing. And now I know why. You know, I wasn't really sure yet myself actually until I saw you standing here. You knew what I decided before I did."

"Yeah, I guess so. I saw it just now and I came straight here. What are you gonna do?"

"Well, I'm not sure yet. I have to find Jacob first before I can confess my undying love to him and even then, I have to find the right way to tell him. Have any suggestions?"

"No, not really. But I do have a suggestion about something else. Don't you think you should go and give Edward an explanation why you won't be walking down the aisle tomorrow?"

"Does he know already? Did you say something or did he see in your mind?"

"No, he was up in his room and I left before he came out so he doesn't know anything, but that doesn't mean you should just take off without telling him anything at all!"

"I know that, Alice, and for your information, I wasn't planning on doing something like that at all! So don't yell at me!"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed."

"I know, I understand. I'm still getting my head around it to."

"May I ask, what changed your mind?"

"Well I guess I was thinking about what would hurt me the most. A lifetime without Edward, or an eternity without Jacob. And in the end I realized that I just couldn't life out an eternity without ever seeing Jacob again, and I don't want to either. When Edward left me, I already learned to live without him, with Jacobs help, I moved on. But even with Edward by my side I can't seem to move on from the fact that Jacob will never hold me again, or that I will never see his smile anymore. And the pain just doesn't go away, it doesn't even fade a little. With Jacob, the whole that Edward left in my heart, it got filled and I felt whole again. But Edward just can't fill the void that Jacob left.

I thought that I loved Jacob, but that I loved Edward more. When in fact, I love them both just as much, but there's only one of them that I can't and won't life without. "

"And that's Jacob?"

"Yes, and there isn't any doubt in my heart about that. So you understand why I have to go and find him Alice? I have to let him know that I love him more than anything, and for the rest of my life, if he'll still have me. "

Alice gave me a sweet but sad look and nodded in understanding.

"But don't worry, before I leave, I will go and talk to Edward. And this doesn't mean that you're not my sister anymore, because in my heart you will never be anything less. Remember that. And I hope that you all are not gonna up and leave again like last time.

Just because I'm not gonna be with Edward anymore, doesn't mean I don't still love you all. You're still like family to me and you always will be. I promise."

She looked at me and I swear that I could see the faintest hint of tears in her eyes. That is if she could cry of course. She gave me a hug, that almost felt like goodbye and disappeared into the trees.


	4. Another one opens

_**Bella's POV**_

I went back into the living room and saw my dad still sleeping soundly on the couch. I decided not to wake him and just leave him a note instead. I was gonna pack up some things and head out for Canada…I guess… Oakville was it right? I had no idea what I was doing, but still, it felt completely right. And I felt more sure about this than I have about anything in the last few months. Canada it is! Oakville here I come!

I packed a bag with some clothes and some pictures and I also took some food from the fridge, cause I was still freaking hungry.

I left the note on the kitchen table:

_Dear Dad,_

_I'm sorry I'm just leaving like this, but I have to find Jacob. I'm gonna call of the wedding and then I'm on my way. I can't tell you where I'm going, because you'll probably come and get me before I'm even there. And i'm not coming back until I can come back with Jacob. I'm gonna find him even if it takes forever. I have my savings account with the money I earned at the restaurant and when that's gone, well, I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I'll keep in touch, and please don't worry about me too much. I'll be fine. Give my love to mom and Phil and pray with me that I find Jacob. I have some leads. I'll call you soon. Oh and thanks for being such a good father to me, I really loved living with you dad._

_Love you_

_All my love, Bella_

I took one last look at a sleeping Charlie and I left. I made my way to the Cullen house. I knew when I got there that Edward had already been informed, whether it been from Alice personally or from reading it in her mind. He was sitting outside on the steps and he had a troubled and worried look on his face. His face softened a little when he saw me step out of the car. It turned into a worried look again when he realized it was my truck and not the car he bought me.

Before I left my house, I took a little jewelry box from my room, where I had put the diamond charm and the ring, that Edward gave me, in. Now there was only the wolf charm left on the charm bracelet. The way it should have stayed from the beginning. It was a beautiful gift from Jacob, and yet I let Edward put his mark on it with the diamond. I was mentally scolding myself for that. How it must have hurt Jacob… I put the box in Edwards hand and he looked at me with a pained face.

"Bella." He gave me a small and very careful hug. I felt so bad.

"Hey Edward."

"Do I have any hope left at all, Bella? Is there still a chance that you might change your mind and still walk down the aisle towards me tomorrow?"

He was looking at me with very hopeful eyes and I just felt like a complete bitch(mind my language) for having to take that hope away from him. I looked up at him and I could tell that he could see the answer in my eyes, because the hope in his slowly faded. He looked a little broken and I felt so guilty, but I couldn't fool anyone, especially myself anymore. I just couldn't. As much as I still loved Edward, and I always would, he just wasn't the one for me anymore. Jacob is and I have to find him, so I can make him see that.

"Are you really going after him?"

"Yes, I have to find him. Please understand. I don't mean to hurt you, I do still love you, Edward, very much, but it just isn't enough anymore. You broke something inside me when you left and Jacob fixed it. He fixed me, when I thought I would never heal. And he did that just by being there for me and loving me. Something you neglected to do at the time. You never even asked my opinion about what happened, in fact you never ask my opinion on anything. You just assume that you know best. Jacob discusses things with me and he is always interested in what I have to say about things. He believes in me and my choices. You make my choices for me. You tore a wedge in between us that just can't be mended anymore. Jacob is the one for me now and I have to let him know that."

"Do you know where he is?"

"I have a lead, but it's still a long shot that I'm gonna find him in the first try. He doesn't want to be found, so it won't be easy, but I'm gonna keep trying, keep looking, keep hoping, forever if I have to. Please don't be angry with me. I never mend to hurt anyone, but for once in my life I have to follow my heart completely to where it will lead me, without any interference from anything or anyone. And I also hope that you won't cut off all contact like you did before. I still want to keep you all in my life."

"We will never do anything like that again, Bella, promise. We will keep contact this time. But you must understand that at some point we will have to move, cause otherwise people might get suspicious?"

"I understand, just let me know where you're going so I can come and visit every once in a while ok?"

He smiled a little at that and answered "We can do that."

"You don't know how long you will be looking for him, it could take months, years even. So we might have already moved before you come back."

"I know, but you have my phone number, just call and tell me where you're going and keep in touch. I will do the same. I know for a fact that Alice might never speak to me again if I don't."

He was smiling a little and he looked like he was laughing at an unspoken joke that I wasn't in on.

"What's so funny?"

"Well, I was just thinking, that Jacob and me simply switched places of what we are to you. And that thought was just a little funny to me right now. "

I couldn't help but smile a little at that fact to. Although nothing about any of this was remotely funny. Too many people have gotten hurt, because I couldn't just make up my damn mind. I was scolding myself again. This time it didn't go unnoticed by Edward.

"This isn't your fault Bella. You can't choose who you fall in love with. If I hadn't left then maybe things would be different but they aren't. And in the end we all have to live with the cards we're dealt with. I do hope you find him and live a happy life. I know he will do everything he can to always make you happy so I don't have to worry about that. And we will help you with the search. Any clues or leads we might come across, we will inform you about them immediately. And please if you need financial aid at some point, don't hesitate to call us. You are still a part of our family and you always will be. And we always take care of family."

I was crying a little because of his speech. Goodbye's are always the worst.

After I said my goodbye's to the family, getting one last bear hug from Emmett, and even getting a hug and a smile from Rosalie, who whispered in my ear that I made the right choice, Alice walked me back to my car and gave me a big hug. As I drove out of the driveway, I looked up at Edwards room and he was standing there, looking at me. He smiled one last time at me before I was gone. It wasn't until I was already on the road, that I realized Alice had put money in my pocket. A lot of money. I knew the pixie was up to something when she gave me a wicked smile before disappearing back into the house.

It was already morning before I finally reached the town of Oakville. I was so tired that I stopped at the first motel I could find. Before I could go into my room and get some sleep, I received an angry phone call from a very pissed off Charlie. When he was done yelling at me for leaving like that in the middle of the night, he said he understood why I had to do this and told me to be careful and stay in touch. I told him I loved him, he said the same, we hung up the phone and then I could finally get some sleep.

So that's the story up till now and that's how I got here at the Crestwood Motel in Oakville, Canada. And why I'm not on my honeymoon in some tropical paradise.

As much as a wanted to start looking for Jacob right away and start asking around, I really needed to get some sleep first. It was pretty cold in the room and my mind drifted away to Jacob and how I was always warm when he was around me. My personal space heater. I took the letter with me when I left and started to read it again and I couldn't help but notice a few strange things about it, but I didn't think about it any further and slowly I could feel myself drifting to sleep and dreaming about my handsome wolfman…


	5. Running away

_**Jacob's POV**_

I wasn't planning on running away like that, leaving the pack and dad. It's just that I couldn't take it anymore. After the filthy leech send me that wedding invitation, I just snapped! It was like he was announcing the end of Bella's life and laughing about it in my face! I could just kill him! And you know what, I would have if I didn't make a run for it. That's why I did it, cause I knew that if I would face him, I would fight him to the death and I just couldn't do that to Bella. It wouldn't even matter which one of us dies, it would hurt her either way.

So that's why I just transformed in my wolf form and started running. I didn't even know where I was going, all I wanted was to be as far away as possible, as fast as my wolf paws could take me. Before I knew it, I was all the way down in Canada.

Before I left though, I couldn't leave my dad or Bella without some kind of explanation, so I decided I would write them both a letter. When I finished my dad's letter, I went to put it in his bedroom. When I started to write Bella's letter, a thought popped in to my head. I wanted to give it one last shot at getting her to choose me, so I would put something special in the letter. I just hoped that our bond was strong enough for her to understand.

When the letter was finished, I looked at it one last time and put it in a sealed envelope, that I put on my desk in my bedroom. Looking around one more time and taking one last look at my garage, that I loved so much, I left, and I didn't look back.

I travelled all across Canada in a few weeks, but I quickly changed back into my human form, cause otherwise the pack would keep following me and I didn't want to be found. Not yet anyway…

I was travelling around and I stopped at a small town somewhere in Canada. I decided to stay there for a couple of days. It seemed like a quiet town where I could rest for a while. I was getting tired of running around. The pack lost my track a couple of towns back, when I started travelling in my human form. And I know Charlie is looking for me, so in my human form I'm not that save either. I have to keep a low profile, but that seemed to be harder than I thought.

I found a small cave in the woods and decided that I would rest there. I couldn't check in at a motel, cause Charlie would be able to find me like that. It didn't matter though, it wasn't like I was gonna get cold or sick or anything.

My sleep was interrupted by a loud scream. I decided to go and check it out. When I was walking towards the screams I started to smell smoke and when I came to the street I saw a house burning. I heard the screams again and realized they were coming from within the burning house.

I was running to the house as fast as my feet could take me, which was pretty damn fast, so I was inside the house in no time. I started to search trough the fire and the smoke till I found a woman lying on the ground of a burning kitchen, half contious. I picked her up and started to make a run for it until I was out of the house. While a was running she suddenly looked up at me with halfopen eyes and it looked like she wanted to say something, but she was to weak. Out on the street, I put her down and ran back into the woods. I knew people would be looking for me after that, so sleep would have to wait until the next town.

All the while when I was running, Bella and the letter kept creeping into my thoughts. I wondered if she got it, and if she read it. I hoped she would understand the message I put in it. I know it was pretty chaotic but maybe she would be able to make sense of it none the less. Just a little puzzling that's all. And I do hope she will come...


	6. Sorry

Hey, sorry the last chapter wasn't that long, but i promise i will try to update soon. I already started to work on the next chapter, and that one will be much longer. Thanks for the great reviews and the interest in my story. It's the first one i have ever written and it's nice to know people like it. I've already started to work on my next story. The summary of this story is on the easy as breathing site for Jacob and Bella fanfiction. Keep reading The Letter, the best is yet to come ;-)

Greetz Brittie


	7. Hey everybody

Hey everybody, i'm sorry i haven't updated recently, but life got in the way. From bad to worse, my cat got sick, my grandfather was in the hospital, my nephew had a carcrash in australia and an old friend of mine killed himself. So my life has been a little hectic the past couple of weeks. I haven't had the time to work on the stories. I don't know when i will get to work on them again, but i just wanted to warn you that i probably won't update anything in the next few weeks. I just wanted to let you know, so you won't think i have quit on the stories. I hope you won't mind waiting for the next chapters for a while and i hope you keep reading. I'll try to update soon. Stay with me...


	8. Searching for a lost love

_**Bella's pov**_

I woke up very early in the morning, probably cause I couldn't wait to find Jacob. I kept hoping that it would be sooner rather then later, but I was realistic and knew that that probably wouldn't be the case. I had no idea where to start first, so I just started to walk around the town a little hoping to find places that where open this early in the day. The first place I found open was the diner, so I decided that I would go there first, cause I was a little hungry to actually.

The waitress walked up to my table and after I ordered some bacon and eggs and a coffee, I asked her about the mystery man who saved that woman from the fire. She informed me that he still hadn't been found and that police has stopped looking, saying that he probably was long gone already, cause to much time has passed.

Before she left to get my order, I showed her a picture of Jacob and asked her if she might have seen him pass trough town a little while ago. The picture showed a young Jacob with long hair, standing next to his father. That was the picture I had hanging in my room. That was basically the only picture I had of him, so I didn't really have a choice. I told her that his hair was short cut now and that he looked a little older and bigger. A lot bigger. She seemed to recognize him and said that he came in here for a few days in a row to eat. The reason she remembered him well, she said, was because he always ordered for like three people or something and eat it all himself. Yep, that sure sounds like my wolfman. I asked her if she might know where he went after he left town, I told her he was missing. She said that he always kept to himself and hardly talked to anybody. She did however remember him talking to the owner of the garage in town. I thanked her and she went to the kitchen to give them my order.

I had to talk to that garage owner as soon as possible. But first I had to eat, cause my stomach was making really funny noises and that's very embarrassing if someone would hear.

A few minutes later she came back with the food and I asked her where I could find that garage, cause I was new in town and didn't know my way around.

She gave me directions and after I finished eating and payed I was on my way. The garage wasn't open yet so I waited on a bench outside for a while.

I must have fallen asleep cause suddenly I was snapped back into reality by a man in about his early fifties.

"Do you need something, young lady?"

"Euhm, what..?"

"From the garage? The one your sitting in front? My garage?"

"Oh Oh yeah just a second mister..." I went to find the picture of Jake in my pocket.

"So your the garage owner? Damn still haven't found that darn picture, where is it...

"Yep, that's me, so can I do anything for you, or are you just gonna sit here all day?"

"Aha, got it!"

"Are you ok hun, cause you're acting a little strange...?"

"Oh yeah, i'm fine, I just want to ask you some questions if that's ok?"

"Sure hun, fire away."

I showed him Jake's picture and asked him if he might know where he went?

"Well he came to talk to me a couple of times about that old rabbit I have standing in the back and told me he was fixing one up himself back home. He never told me where home was though, and I didn't ask. He seemed kind of sad when the talked about it. When I asked him if he wanted to help me fix it up, he said he couldn't cause he was leaving soon. I think he mentioned the town 20 miles from here. So I think you're best chance at finding him is there, hun."

"Thanks a lot mister! Bye!"

"You're welcome hun, be careful. Bye!"

I immediately went back to the motel to pack up my stuff and get into my truck and head for the next town as soon as possible!

When I arrived in the town, things couldn't be more dead! I thought I landed in the twilight zone or something. I learned quickly, cause there's only one place in town Jake would go to and risk exposure: The garage! He did in the last town, so why wouldn't he do that here. I mean he loves garages. He loved his own garage and he had to leave it. I really hoped I was right.

When I got to the garage, it was open, but there was no one in sight. So I went inside and looked around a little. The garage looked a little like Jake's garage, with a car standing in the middle of it and motor parts and tools laying all around it.

Everything in that damn garage reminded me of Jacob and how stupid I was to just let him run away like that. I was such a fool. Why couldn't I just see what a wonderful man I had in front of me the whole time. Looking around the garage made me miss him even more and made me even more determined to find him. As I saw a motorcycle standing in the corner, with tools around it, my mind started to wonder off. Back to the time I spend with Jacob fixing up the bikes. A part of me always knew that I didn't just want to do that, cause I wanted to see Edward again. I liked doing stuff with Jacob, it didn't matter what it was. When he said in the car that he should have probably stalled the fixing up a bit, and I told him we would have found something else to do, I really meant it.

You know I might have done a lot of stupid things when it came to Jacob, but I never lied to him about anything. He always brought out the best in me. He has that affect on me all the time.

"You need some help, lady?"

Snapped back to the hard reality again, where Jacob is nowhere to be found and i'm busting my butt, traveling all around Canada to find his ass.

"Yeah, I was wondering if you might have seen this guy passing trough town?" I showed him Jake's picture and I could see in his face that he recognized him.

"Nop, never saw him before."

"What do you mean you never saw him before? The look on your face says different, man! Please just tell me what you know? Do you know where he went?"

"Look missy, I don't wanna get into any trouble ok! "

"You're not gonna get in any trouble, I just want to find him! Please!"

"Look, ok yeah I saw him. He was here yesterday. But I don't know where he went. He bought one of my bikes and left town, that's all I know."

"Did he ask you not to tell anyone?"

"Yeah, he said people might come looking, but he never talked about a girl. He talked about police and some indian guys. So I still kept my promise."

"Yeah, he doesn't know i'm looking for him to, but he wouldn't have told you not to tell me even if he did know." I smiled to myself, cause I knew I was right about that.

"Hey thanks, bye!"

"You're welcome, bye!"

Ok so maybe this was getting bad. Now that he wasn't on foot anymore and that it was yesterday when he was here, he could be anywhere right now! This is not good! Maybe I should call my dad to see if he has more luck than me tracking Jake. Maybe the Cullens have some leads? No they would have called me if they did. Damn, how am I supposed to find him now?


	9. Unexpected Comany

_**Bella's pov**_

Oké, so maybe things weren't going exactly how I planned, but I'm not giving up! I knew from the start that this wasn't going to be easy and I just can't stop now. I just wish I knew how to get on his trail again?

I drove until I got to the next town and I decided to call it a night, so I looked for the nearest motel and got myself a room. I had Jacob's letter and his picture in my hand when I went to the counter to rent a room. When I got to the counter the clerk looked very tired and bored. I asked him for a room and he looked at the picture in my hand.

"Hey, I say that guy here yesterday. But he didn't have that long hair, it was cut short."

My mind wasn't registering immediately what he was saying.

"Wait, what? You saw him, this guy? Are you sure?" I was putting the picture right in front of his face, I mean he had to be really sure!

"Yeah hun, I'm sure. He was riding a motorcycle. He stopped to buy something from the shop across the street and he left his motorcycle parked there, then he went into town for a while and then he came back to get his cycle and left. I have no idea what he went into town for. Are you looking for him?"

"Yep, he's kinda missing and I'm trying to find him. But I obviously haven't been successful. Do you have any idea where he went when he left here?"

"I guess the next town. That motorcycle needs fuel, and he didn't fill it up when he was here so...Maybe he told someone in town where he went. But you wont be able to talk to anyone until the morning, everybody's closed up shop already so."

"Ok, I'll take a room then and I'll go in to town in the morning, thanks!"

He gave me a key to a room and I paid. As I was walking to the room, all I could think was, is there a garage in town...

I was lying on the bed reading Jake's letter again, when there was a knock on my door. Seeing as it was very late, and nobody knew I was here, I was kinda worried.

When I looked out the window, there was Alice standing right in front of it.

"I knew you where gonna look out the window! Open up please."

I opened the door and I couldn't help but hug her immediately. She offcourse had her arms already open.

"I knew you where gonna do that to." She smiled.

"Alice, not that i'm not glad to see you, but what are you doing here?"

"I wanna help. You can't do this all on your own, Bella. Two minds work better than one, right? I have been following you since you left our house. I just wanted to be around if you might need me. When you looked a little down, I decided that maybe it was time to make an appearance."

I was so glad she wanted to help me, cause it really did start to look like a lost cause. And maybe Alice might be able to smell him when he was close, so that could help.

"Thanks, Alice."

"You're welcome!" She cheered.

We were going over the letter together and thinking about which town he could go after this one when suddenly Alice jumped up from the bed and ran to the door.

"What's wrong?" I asked while she was opening the door and stepping outside.

"I smell dog!"

My mind was racing and so was I, right out the door! I pushed passed Alice and ran into the parking lot and started yelling for Jake. I mean who else could it be? Maybe he wasn't that far away yet and he smelled me or something or maybe he forgot to do something here? I was running around like a madwoman when I heard a branch break in the woods on the side of the motel. I immediately looked that way hoping to see Jake, but I saw...Leah.

A little disappointed, but also very curious, I started walking towards her.

She looked angry and sad at the same time. She never really liked me, so seeing her anger didn't do much good for my bravery and so I stopped walking towards her and waited for her to move.

She looked at me and her face softened a little, just a little.

"I heard from Billy you went off on a wild goose chase to find Jake? Is that true?"

She looked at me and then she looked at Alice standing at the door.

"Yes it is. Sadly I haven't had much luck with that."

"Well if it's true, then why is she here?" She asked pointing at Alice.

"She's helping me, cause it's getting a little hard on my own." I said with sadness in my voice.

At this confession her face and body softened completely and she walked towards me.

"Well, I want to help to. But you have to be sincere, cause I don't want you breaking Jacob's heart all over again!"

I smiled and I answered very honestly: "I love him, and I'm never letting him go again!"

Leah looked at me a little funny and gave me a crooked smile.

"Well ok then, let find Jacob Black then! I don't have to make nice with her do I?"

She and Alice looked really sour at eachother. Then Alice answered:

"I'll be civil ,if you are?" Leah gave a slight nod and the three of us went inside. I showed the letter to Leah to and the three of us started to brainwash. Coming up with noting, surprise, surprise, I started to get tired and told them I was going to get some sleep.

Alice went to sit on one side of the room and Leah went to the other side. Neither of them would get any sleep tonight...

I lied down on the bed and I was a sleep in nothing more than a few minutes.

All the while I was thinking: "This should be interesting..."


	10. Getting desperate

_**Bella's pov**_

I woke to the sounds of fighting...

"Get away from me you filthy leech! You and your family have caused nothing but trouble!"

"Speak for yourself you dirty mutt! It's the wolves who are more dangerous than us!"

"Ha! That's a laugh! Isn't it you and your family who brought danger to our town and to the vampire girl? Wasn't it you who brought trouble to us all?"

It was time for me to intervene...

"Stop it! Both of you! I thought you two were here to help me, not to make things more difficult than they already are!"

"Well, the leech started it! I told her to stay away from me and there she was all of a sudden standing above me!"

"I was trying to turn on the tv without waking you, you ungrateful mutt!"

"Hey, you better shut it, leech, before I...'

"Shut up, Shut up , Shut up! Both of you just shut up! We are leaving right now!

"Well, where do we go? We have no clue where he is! And as long as he's in his human form, I can't read his mind."

"Yeah, Bella, I don't want to crash your hope or anything, but Leah is right, we have no way of finding him now."

"Yes we do. The hotelclerk told me Jake was here yesterday and he went into the shop across the street and then he went into town, so that's exactly where we are going. Maybe if we ask around a little we might find out where he went after he left here. With the help of you two we can cover much more ground in a day then I could by myself."

"So what the hell are we waiting for then, let's get going!" Leah said.

"Ok, Alice, you and Leah go into town and start asking around, the two of you can get there faster than I can. I'll go check out the shop across the street in the meanwhile."

"Wait, me and wolfgirl actually working together? Bella I said I would be civil,

that doesn't mean I'm willing to go on a crusade with her!"

"Yeah, vamp girl, I agree with the bloodsucker! Don't push your luck!"

"First of all, don't call me that, and second, if your not gonna help, then you both are of no use to me, so you might as well go home then!"

"Oh Bella, don't be that way, i'm sorry. If you need me to go in to town, i'll go."

"Fine vamp g.., I mean Bella. I gave you my word I would help you, so that's what i'm gonna do. I'll go into town with the lee.., with Alice."

"Thank you. Thank you both."

And with that, I saw the both of them disappear into town faster than I could say goodbye. From a distance I could still see that they went they're separate ways. I was off to the shop across the street. I was so hoping the clerk could help me. If I won't find any clues in this town, then I won't have anything anymore. I'll have nothing to go on anymore, and that cannot happen!

I walked into the shop and I saw that it was a souvenir shop. What could he possibly have bought here?

I walked up to the clerk and showed her the picture of Jacob.

"Yeah, I remember him. A woman doesn't soon forget a hot guy like that!" She smiled.

All I was thinking was, hands off my man, woman! But I smiled back none the less.

"Figured he'd be taken already." She continued while looking at me.

You better believe it honey! I thought.

"Yeah, but a lot of things happened and now he's on the run and I'm trying to find him, so I would be really grateful if you could help me out."

"Sure. He came in here yesterday and bought one of these." She showed me little miniature motorcycles that were on the counter.

Figure, he'd buy something like that. I happily thought to myself.

"So I put it in one of those little carter board boxes, he paid and headed out."

"Then he left his motorcycle out there and I saw him go into town. When he came back, he just took his motorcycle and left. I didn't see which way he went. I was in the back, so I only heard him leave. When I came out, he was gone."

"That's all? I asked desperately.

"I mean, he didn't say where he was going or anything?"

"Nop, sorry hun. He didn't really say anything besides hello and goodbye. He was friendly, but didn't really seem interested in talking so I just let him be. He smiled though and boy what a smile!"

"Yeah, like the sun right?"

"Yeah, exactly like that! I really do hope you find him hun and when you do, never let him go again, cause guys like that are few and far between. Trust me!"

"Yeah, I know. I hope I find him to. But every town I get to, it's getting harder to keep track. I'm afraid I won't find him unless he wants to be found." I sadly replied.

"Don't worry hun, if it's meant to be, you'll find him! Love always finds a way!"

"Well, I sure hope so, cause I'm getting desperate!" I answered.

"Thanks for the help and goodbye I guess."

"Yeah bye, sorry I couldn't be off more help, hun. Good luck!" She yelled as I stepped out the door. Damn! What am I gonna do now? I sure hope Alice and Leah are having better luck than me. I better go find them.

And I was off into town hoping I would find them.

**Meanwhile in town...**

_**Leah's pov**_

I walked in the other direction from where the leech was headed. I promised Bella I would help, but there was no way in hell I was going all over town with the bloodsucker. No way!

I just started walking thinking about places Jacob could have gone to. And I figured the diner was as good a place as any to start. I mean he had to eat right! With our appetite he would have to eat regularly. When I was coming closer to the diner I knew my instincts were correct, cause his smell was still lingering in the air and it only became stronger when I walked in. I wonder why I didn't smell him anywhere else? Maybe cause he stayed here for a while?

The girl behind the counter asked me if she could help me with something. So I told her I was looking for someone.

The moment I described Jacob, I could see recognition in her eyes. Then her eyes became all dreamy. Disgusting!

"So, you saw him?" I didn't do anything to hide my disgust, but I don't think she noticed at this point.

"Yeah, and I won't forget him either! So dreamy!"

"Yeah, whatever. So did you see where he went after he left here?"

"He went to the post office down the street!"

"The post office? Are you sure?"

"Yep, really sure! I watched him walk in. He had a little carter board box with him when he was in here. He went into the post office and came out without the box so."

"How could you have seen him, you can't even see the post office from behind the counter?" I asked a little confused.

"Well, I was standing at the window when I saw him." She replied a little shy.

"Ugh, right well thanks!" I replied disgusted again! The girl's cheeks became more red by the second and she went to the other side of the counter mumbling a goodbye.

Right as I was about to turn around to leave, I could smell a leech approaching. Oh great I thought, I don't wanna have to deal with the little pixie leech right now. When she walked in I could see from her face she was just as happy to see my as I was to see her.

Why did I have to run into the fucking leech! I should have figured she would smell him to, I mean I did so why not her. I was just hoping that she would think it was just my smell and back of, but no such luck! She was just to persistent.

_**Alice's pov**_

Well just my luck! Five stores and no one has seen him. Where the hell could he have been to. I mean, he had to have done something in town, otherwise, why would he have come here? Right?

Great, now I'm talking to myself! Why are we even trying. He's not stupid. He's not just gonna tell someone where he's going unless he wants to be found. And we have already established that he doesn't want to be found until he's ready so what are we even doing here. Helping Bella hold on to her hope of finding the love of her life! Well, off to the next store then...

Wait! There's a diner. He had to eat right! I'll go and check it out. As I was approaching the diner I could still smell traces of wolf. But I didn't know if it was Jacob's sent or Leah's. Maybe both.

Oh great, so the mutt is here to! I thought to myself as I walked into the diner and saw Leah standing at the counter.

"Watch it, leech!"

"I didn't say anything!"

"Well, you didn't have to! I saw you thinking it!"

"You know, we are spending far to much time together if we are able to read each others facial expressions already!" I yelled.

"Couldn't agree more! So let's just help Bella find Jacob and we can go our separate ways again!"

"That's just fine with me!" I couldn't wait to get away from the mutt!

"So what have you come up with?" I asked as politely as I could master.

"The girl behind the counter said she saw him go to the post office after he had dinner here. So let's go there."

"Post office? Why would he go there? I mean, it's not like he's been keeping in touch with people right?" I asked.

"Yeah, I know it's weird, but hey I asked the girl if she was sure and she said she was so. She went all dreamy eyes when she was talking about him, so I'm pretty sure she wouldn't forget a guy like Jacob the way she was looking." Leah replied.

"Well, ok then. Couldn't hurt right." So we were off to the post office.

In the distance we could see Bella walking. She was looking up at the sky not watching where the hell she was going. And in Bella's case that is definitely not save! So we yelled her name, trying to snap her out of her daydream.

_**Bella's pov**_

When I walked into town, I didn't really know where the hell I was going. You can't chase after wolves and vampires ya know. I could never catch up with them, not for a lack of trying none the less. .. If only Jacob would phase again, then Leah and Alice would be able to smell him, but noooo! He had to buy himself a bike and become completely untraceable!

"Oh Jake, why are you making this so difficult for me? Is this punishment? Payback? Or maybe even karma? Please give me a sign that you even want me to look for you? That's it's not too late yet?" I was looking up at the sky talking to no one but myself hoping he would some how hear me, but it didn't look like I was getting anywhere. Trying really hard with my thoughts to get the message across trough the air and getting nothing but a headache, I heard someone calling my name from afar, so I stopped looking up and started to look around. Maybe he was giving me a sign?(stupid I know, but hey I'm getting desperate here and that can make a person think crazy things...). No such luck tough! It was just Leah and Alice yelling from a distance so I just walked up to them and decided that he just wanted me to work a little to earn his love. You know, prove that I'm worthy.

"Hey you guys! So did you find out anything?" I asked expectantly.

"He went to the post office, that's about all so far. So that's where we're headed right now." Leah replied.

"Post office? Really? I asked.

"Yeah, the clerk at the diner said he had a little carter board box with him when he went in and came out without it so that's probably what he send out." Leah answered.

Well uhm, ok then, let's go." I said.

While walking to the post office I was wondering why he would go there. What could he have possibly been sending out and to where? He hasn't been in touch with anyone since he left, so why now all of a sudden? Was he planning on going back home? Who would he have send something to? Was there someone else that I didn't know about? All these questions popped in to my head and I found myself scared for the answer.

I decided to just shake them off and wait until we found out more.

"Bella , is something bothering you, cause I thought you would be happy that we found out something and yet you look all moody?" Alice asked me.

"No Alice, thanks I'm fine, just hoping that we find him, that's all." Well I wasn't really lying was I?

Suddenly it hit me! A little carter board box. The miniature motorcycle! Why in hell's name would he send something like that to anyone! This is turning into a wild goose chase and he's making it harder to figure him out in every town he leaves!

When we walked into the store, the clerk replied that he recognized him, but he refused to give us any information about who Jake send the package to. He did however inform us that Jake seemed quit anxious to have it be delivered as soon as possible! But that didn't help us along any further now did it! The clerk had no idea where Jake went after he left, so we were back at square one!

"Now what are we gonna do, cause we can't smell him anymore either! We have absolutely nothing to go on!" Leah yelled exhausted.

"If we were charmed ones, we could just freeze his ass and look up in the computer what the hell we want to know!" I yelled out angrily thinking that if I had powers like that I probably would have already found him by now.

"Who?" Alice inquired.

I looked up at her a little surprised. So did Leah.

"You guys really never watch any tv besides the news, do you?" I asked.

"Yeah, I don't watch a lot of tv either, but even I know what she's talking about!" Leah said to Alice.

"So what if I rather read books or listen to music than watch tv? Tv kills braincells and is very bad for your eyes you know!" Alice answered back to us.

"Alice your an immortal and you can't get hurt, so I don't think that really applies to you." I laughed.

We all had a little laugh about that. It was very welcome because of all the seriousness and the tension there had been for the last couple of hours. But as always the seriousness would have to return.

"Wait I have an idea." Leah said, and we followed her back inside.

"Hey man, could you like show us what kind of box it was? You know, the size and everything?" Leah asked the clerk.

"Uhm, I suppose I could do that, not that I know why that would help you out in anyway? Give me a second and I'll get a similar box from the back." The clerk answered us very politely. Alice and Leah were looking at each other like they had a plan. And I wasn't in on it just yet.

The clerk came out of his little booth and started to walk down the backroom. Fast as lightning , like she is, Alice made sure the booth didn't close. And when the clerk was out of sight she went into the booth and started to look trough his computer. Ok so now I was in on the plan.

While looking at something on the computer Alice had a look of confusion, and at the same time happiness, on her face.

Leah was motioning Alice to come out of the booth, probably cause she heard the clerk coming back (super hearing), so Alice came out and looked at me a little funny. I saw the clerk walking towards us with a little box in his hands that looked similar to the ones I saw in the souvenir shop. We said our thanks and walked out.

When we were out on the street again we started walking towards the hotel and I immediately looked at Alice expectantly for her to tell me who Jake send the box to.

"You guys are never gonna believe who the box is for!" She said happily.


	11. Finding the clues

_**Bella's POV**_

"He send the little box to Bella's adress!" Alice yelled.

"What!" Both me and Leah asked dumfounded.

"Yeah, he send something to you Bella. It didn't say on the computer what was in the box, but it was your adress that it was send to."

"There was a little miniature motorcycle in the box." I answered.

Both looked at me questioningly.

"He bought it at the shop that I went to across the street from the hotel. The clerk told me she put it in a box like the one the clerk showed us." I continued.

"Why would he send that to you?" Alice asked and Leah had the same question written on her face.

So I started to explain about the motorcycles and the time we spent together.

"We fell in love during that time and he's reminding me that he's still waiting. He'll always be waiting..." I was remembering the evening he told me that, right after the newborn fight. He's letting me know there's still a chance for us if I choose right this time around... Or at least I hoped that's what the motorcycle meant...

"Oh my god! Alice exclaimed. "That is so romantic!"

"Yeah, didn't know Jacob had it in him!" Leah laughed.

We all laughed having a little hope back, but Leah asked a very serious question, one that was reflecting in Alice' eyes as well.

"But that still doesn't get us anywhere. How are we gonna find him now that we have nowhere else to look?" Both looked at me.

And she had to go there! But I had a new found hope now because of the motorcycle and I wasn't gonna let Leah's heavyness bring me down! So I answered very kindheartedly.

"I think it's about time we took another look at that letter of his."

"Bella, you've read that letter over and over again since the day you left!" Leah stated. "If you haven't found anything yet, you're not going to!"

"Well, now I have you guys to help me so I will find something! I have to!" I yelled.

Not wanting to bring me down, Leah walked in silence the rest of the way to the hotel. When we walked into the room I immediately took the letter out of my bag and started reading it again over and over and over...

Leah and Alice also gave it a shot, but they came out blank. So it must be clues that only I could figure out or something. Right?

_My dear Bella,_

_I wrote you this letter, because I couldn't get myself to say goodbye to you in person. It would just hurt me even more. I hope you understand why I have to leave. I just can't watch you marry him and give up your life and everyone in it. Your rejection already cut trough me like a knife. Watching you leave with him would kill me completely. So to keep my sanity I decided to just be the one to leave first. I don't know where I'm going and I don't really care. All I know is that I'll never come back. I'll be in touch with my family every once in a while, but I will never return. _

_I know you probably hate me for doing so, but I hope after reading this letter, you might find it in your heart to forgive me __one fine day__. Maybe I'm already dead and__ buried__ when you decide to do so, but I will never stop hoping for it. After all, you wouldn't stay mad at your best friend for all eternity, even though you could, now would you?_

_I do still wish you well, Bella. I will always love you and I hope you have a happy life. __If you think about me or wish I was there, just look up at the sun, Bella, cause that's what I will always be for you. Your sun. Make sure you are close to the sun and you will feel me there, right beside you. __And even though you might not see me, doesn't mean I'm not watching over you. I promise this to you. And please remember me with the __wonderful memories__ and not the bad. _

_Know this Bella, you will always be my best friend, my love and my everything and you will have my heart for eternity._

_Maybe our paths will cross again one day, maybe not, the future is unsure and still __hidden __from us, but just like you will forever be in my heart, I hope I will forever be in yours. Goodbye Bella, may life be kind to you and death be peaceful and happy. __Treasure__ this letter and __understand__…_

_Love always,_

_Your personal sun,_

_Jacob Black_

At first I noticed that he wrote a lot of forever, always, eternity and love in the letter. When I started puzzling together some words and mixing things up, I could read a statement from him: You have me for eternity, always and forever. I knew at that moment that it couldn't just be a coincidence that I was able to make that particular sentence, right? I couldn't know for sure and I was doubting myself the whole time, but I just had to believe that he put some sort of clue in here, cause the search was leading to nowhere. Everywhere I went it was a dead end and I was starting to lose hope a bit. So I just had to believe in this, it couldn't hurt to try right? I mean, I already tried everything else, and the Cullens and my dad didn't have any more luck than I did unfortunately.

Basically it's like he's vanished of the face of the earth now. Every time I think that I'm getting remotely close, I get another door slammed in my face and a statement that he's already long gone. I'm getting desperate here, so I'm up for anything. I started reading and examining the letter over and over again. The whole letter was filled with obvious and very subtle, hidden love messages, which made me realize that he still had hope for us to and that he still believed.

Finally after a while, I got it. Or at least I hope I did and this wasn't just all in my mind… The letter contained clues to where I could find him. That's why he underlined understand at the end. He knew that the clues are so subtle and personal for the both of us, that only I could see it.

He was counting on me, that if for some reason I did happen to change my mind, that I would get the signs and find him if I chose to. I can't let him down.

Now I know that the one fine day part contains the date that I'm supposed to meet him, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what he means by it. I already knew that the clues contained parts of our past and not the present, but I just had the figure out which moments in our past. He really did riddle his way into this one, I just hope I can riddle us out of it.

So what I found in the letter was the sentence where he talks about the sun and how I have to look up and be as close to the sun as possible. Well now I know where he wants to meet, cause the only place I could think of was a high mountain on south beach where he took me once. He showed me the view and said that he feels close to the sun up there. So I know where, but not when, and I have a feeling I'm running out of time.

I mentioned my findings to Leah and Alice and they were still a little skeptic, but participated none the less.

"Bella, that's a pretty big mountain, so you still don't know where exactly." Alice said to me, bursting my bubble. Well almost...

"Well, the hidden treasure part is the next clue. We went up there with our dads when we were kids . We had found some beautiful shells at the beach and we decided to bury them up there. So that's where he wants to meet!" At least I hoped.

"But do you even remember where that was?" Alice asked, bursting my bubble completely...

"No, not right now, but I'm sure I will recognize the place when I get to the mountain. Well I hope I recognize it! It's all I have to go on so I have to believe I'll know when I get there!" I replied.

"Hey isn't that a movie, one fine day?" Leah asked suddenly.

"What?" I asked confused as to what she meant and a little annoyed to why she was changing the subject to a freaking movie!

"In the letter? One fine day? I might not watch a lot of tv, but I'm pretty sure that's a movie with Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney. I watched it with my mom once, that's why I remember." She answered.

Suddenly I got what she meant and I remembered.

"Oh my god, Leah, you're a genius!" I exclaimed, running up to her and giving her a hug.

"Not that I didn't know that already, but why?" Leah asked pushing me off of her a little.

"No need to exaggerate, Bella." Alice said a little jokingly and Leah answered by glaring at her.

"I remember that movie. Me and Jacob were suppose to watch it, but then didn't cause of my everlasting depression." I answered Leah.

So that's the when part.

"Ok, so do you remember what day that was, cause if that has something to do with when he want's to meet, you better figure it out fast, cause you don't know how much time you have left!' Leah told me.

"Well I know it was a Wednesday..." I said.

"Oh, well that's just great! You don't remember? Think dammit!" Leah yelled.

"I'm trying ok! Just give me a second!" I answered.

"Yeah Leah, come on give her a break! At least give her a chance to think about it." Alice intervened. I could still hear them going at each other in the background as I was thinking back to that awful time. Suddenly it hit me!

"Wait, wait! I got it! It was March 17th! Right after we started working on the bikes." I exclaimed before terror came over me.

"Oh god! What's the date today?" I frantically yelled.

"Oh damn! It's Sunday the 15th! That means we only have a day left to get back to Forks and it took you like three days to get here! How the hell are we gonna pull that off! The truck will never make that in one day!" Alice started yelling.

"We can make that..." Leah answered very calmly.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"I mean..., me and the leech are fast enough to make that in a days travel. We could carry you. We should take turns in carrying you, cause it might get cold riding on the leech' back. You can always come back for the truck later or have it shipped back to Forks or something." Leah explained.

After pondering it over for a minute I agreed.

"That could work, let's do it. This is my last chance to get my Jake back so I'll do just about anything!" I answered very surely.

"Bella, are you sure, cause the pressure of the speed we would be running at could really hurt you?" Alice informed.

"Alice, this is the love of my life we are talking about! This is the last chance he's going to give me, so I have to take it! So please, don't ask me if I'm sure, cause I've never been more sure about anything in my life!" I answered back.

"Well ok then Bella, let's do this." Alice replied.

And with that we left. When I went to pay for the room, I asked the hotelclerk if I could leave my truck parked at the hotel and come to pick it up in a few days time, and he let me put it in the back so it would be saver. I left the things I took with me from home in the trunk of the truck and only took the most necessary things with me, like my wallet and off course the letter...


	12. Update

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been updating lately, but I had an injury on my hand. I have to see a specialist for it soon. However, I am happy to say, that the next chapter is almost finished. I really hope that I have the chapter ready within the next month and I hope everyone will like it ;-) Thanks for hanging in there, I know it always takes me a long time to update. Life keeps getting in my damn way!

xxxxxxxx Brittie


	13. Reunited with him

Bella's Pov:

I was so excited to see Jake. I really hoped I was right—I mean it had to be the 17th of August, right? Seeing as July 17th had already passed before he wrote the letter. And I didn't think he would wait till September to meet me. It had to be August 17th, right after the wedding, well, nonexistent wedding—probably to see if I was happy, or if I had gone through with it altogether. And it was probably at noon. He told me to look up at the sun and the sun shone brightest at noon, right? Also on our way there, there was another clue in the letter that popped into my head; the hidden treasure part. That place on the mountain, where he said he felt closest to the sun; we used to search for hidden treasure there. Our dads took us there once for a hike when we were kids. I was like twelve years old, I think. And we imagined that pirates had hidden their treasure way up there, so no one else could ever find it. Thinking about it made me smile. How different times where back then. I hoped I was right about this. This was my last chance to tell him how I felt. If I didn't make it, he would be gone forever. I would just have to wait and see...

Ok, so, riding on Alice' back for the first two hours proved to be very uncomfortable. It was cold and hard and I was freaking freezing my ass off! Not to mention that because of the speed we were going, I could barely breathe, and had no shelter. But anything for Jake, right...? I'd get my revenge one day...

Leah's back was much more comfortable. With the 108 degree body temperature, it was very warm and I could hide my face in the fur and also it was very soft to sit on. Much better! The soft fur reminded me of Jake—the time he cuddled up to me as a wolf. When they were training for the fight with the newborns, he came up to me in his wolf form and snuggled up against me. That is, until Edward had to ruin it! We were having a moment, dammit! Maybe, if he would have let us have our moments, I wouldn't be in this shit right now! I wouldn't be chasing after the love of my life, who is running away because of me! Maybe, I would have been smarter and figured it out sooner, like, before he ran! But, noooo, Edward had to just always intervene when we were having a freaking moment! Why couldn't he have just let us be? Maybe Jake was right in the tent that night before the fight. Maybe, if Edward had just stayed away, things would have been different, and Jake and I would be together right now. He was right when he said he could make me happy...

I always go back to those thoughts. What if he had stayed away? What if Italy never happened? What if my life had just taken the natural path? Would I be with Jake? 'Cause if Edward had never been in my life, I probably wouldn't have been so close to Jake. 'Cause if I never met Edward, then I wouldn't have been so depressed when he left, and I wouldn't have gone to Jake to fix me. I guess everything happens for a reason. I mean, both of them have shown me what true love is all about. Edward was my first love, but Jake—Jake is forever...

If Edward hadn't been in my life, I probably wouldn't have gotten the chance to get to know Jacob, and fall in love. So, because of that, I would always be grateful to Edward and I did hope that I could keep the whole Cullen family in my life. I did love them, you know. I hoped Jake would understand that. If he didn't, it was gonna be really hard saying goodbye to all of them. But I would, for him. I'd do anything for him, just like he always had for me...

Uh-oh, I had to pee. I started to lightly tap Leah on the shoulder. No response... Oh god, I really had to pee! I tapped a bit harder. Still no response... Ok, maybe, with the speed we were going at, she didn't feel it. So I tapped harder and harder and harder, I was basically boxing her with all my might now. Ok, she was just ignoring me and it was pissing me off. So, I went up to her ear and whispered to her.

"If you don't stop right now, I'm gonna pee all over your nice fur."

Before I knew what was going on, she made an abrupt halt, and I was flying right over her, smack against a freaking tree! Ok, ouch...

"What the hell are you doing?" I could hear Alice yelling in the background. I was still seeing stars, and little funny lights and a whole bunch of other stuff... Ok, still ouch...

I could hear Leah roaring at Alice. Maybe, it was time to get up. So, I was starting to pull myself up... Oh no, maybe, it was time to sit down again...

Everything was still fuzzy... Oh shit, I still had to pee. _Really time to get up. Really..._

_Second try_... _Going a little bit better._ Probably my bladder urging my brain on, to wake the fuck up and peeeeee.

"Bella, are you ok?" Alice asked. Leah came closer too, probably to check if she hadn't smacked me against the tree too hard. Bitch! I glared at her as I started to walk away, so I could find a freaking tree.

"Bella, w..." Alice started.

"I'm going to pee, so just leave me alone for a couple of seconds, will ya!"

When I was done, I returned to where Alice and Leah were standing. Leah had returned to her human form and was glaring at me.

"What the hell, Swan!"

"Hey, don't complain! I was tapping you on the shoulder and you didn't budge!"

"Now let's get this show back on the road!" I yelled. All the while, I glared at Leah not to mess with me right then. She quietly went into the woods and came out wolfy. The next times I tapped her on the shoulder she did stop without much hassle.

The rest of the day went on without much interesting happening. At about 6 P.M., we stopped somewhere in a small town to get some dinner, and after that, we were on our way again. It was already getting dark when we took off. I must have slept on Leah's back all night, 'cause when I opened my eyes it was light out again and I was definitely not on Leah's warm, soft back anymore. I was lying in the grass.

"Well it's about time you woke up!" I heard Leah yell at me.

"Oh, and why is that?" I asked.

"Bella, look around. We are back in Forks!" Alice smiled at me.

"What time is it?" I asked in a hurry.

"Don't worry, Bella, you still have time. It's about 8.30 A.M., so there is still time to get some breakfast." Alice answered me, while she obviously heard my stomach growl.

"Yeah, for Swan and me, cause leeches don't eat anything that's not disgusting, right?" Leah sneered.

"Haha, very funny, mutt! Why don't you go hump a tree or something!" Alice sneered right back.

"You guys, come on! Not right now ok? I'm hungry, very nervous and grumpy, so don't mess with me right now, got it!" I yelled.

They both looked at me annoyed, but kept quiet.

We walked into the diner and sat down. Leah and I ate 'til we couldn't eat anymore and Alice just sat there and stared at us. We felt very uncomfortable, but let her be.

After a long time of silence, suddenly she spoke, making us jump from our seats.

"I don't remember what it tastes like—food I mean. It's been so long..." She trailed off.

I didn't really know what to say to that, and from the look on her face, neither did Leah. So we said nothing and listened to her continue.

"I might not remember the taste of food, but I do remember what real love looks like, what it feels like. I should've seen your doubts sooner. I was so caught up in the wedding plans and I wanted you to become my sister so badly, that I didn't stop to think about what _you_ wanted. I needed that vision, from when we were in Italy, to be true so much, that I didn't ask you about anything. Maybe if I had paid more attention to your needs, I would have noticed how much you missed Jacob and how much you were doubting your decision. That's what a sister would have done. Maybe the wolves are right, maybe our hearts have turned cold. Maybe we were just made to think about our own needs first, to be selfish. Survival instincts, you know..." She was talking and I'm sure she would be crying if she could. I had to stop her from thinking like that, 'cause she _was_ sister.

"If that were true, Alice, you wouldn't be here right now. You wouldn't have helped me with everything from the moment I left. Whether you want to or not, you _are_ my sister and I love you for being here for me and everything you do for me. You're stuck with me. No one saw my doubts before today. Not even I wanted to acknowledge that I had doubts. If anyone needed that vision to be true, it was me. Because that meant that I didn't have to make a choice anymore. The choice was already made for me. With the vision, I could just pretend that being with Edward was just my future, already written. And that made it easier to ignore my love for Jake. I'm to blame here. If I hadn't been so stubborn all the time, I would have figured out my feelings sooner. I told Jake the night after the newborn fight that my love for him didn't change anything, but it actually changed _everything_. I wasn't just lying to him that night, I was lying to myself. So don't beat yourself up about this Alice, I'm doing the beating on myself enough for the both of us. I just hope that Jake still wants me, 'cause otherwise, I must say, karma works really fast!" That brought a small smile on our faces at least.

"Jake loves you more than anything in the world, Swan; I know that much. I don't think he'll turn you down, not if he is sure that you mean it this time. So don't be too scared," Leah suddenly said. I looked at her thankfully. That statement meant more to me then she knew, especially coming from her.

"Hey you guys, it's already 9:30 and I still don't know where it is exactly, so we better get going," I informed them.

"Well, we don't even know what time you have to meet him; it's not like he was very clear in his message...We could end up sitting there all day and have him not show up, thinking it was a waste of time or something." Alice replied.

"No, I know the time." I answered back. Alice and Leah both looked at me funny.

"But there weren't any clues saying what time," they claimed.

"Yes, there was. The sun always shines brightest at noon. He said to look at the sun. He knows I call him my sun—my never darkening light. So it's only natural he would want to meet when that light is the brightest. Look I never said his clues were any good. He did a shitty job on the letter, but he was kinda in a hurry, so it's no wonder that he didn't really think the whole thing through. But I'm sure he's gonna be there. Shitty job or not, those were all clues that had to do with me, so I know he hopes that I got it right. And he is gonna be there just to know if I think about him enough to know those things. He's gonna be curious," I explained to both ladies, who were now looking at me like I had gone mental.

"Just hope you're right, Swan. Yeah, I'm sure you're right, Bella." They both answered me, patronizingly. Time wasn't really on our side, so I decided not to react to it.

"So come on then, let's go." We paid our bill and started heading towards the mountain in La Push. I really hoped I could remember the place in time...

Meanwhile somewhere along the border of La Push...

* * *

Jacob's pov:

_What the hell am I doing here again! I can't believe I'm running after her again, like always! She probably didn't even get the letter, and if she did her leech would have probably stopped her from reading it. God, why am I doing this to myself again?_

_Well, I can't back out now. I wrote the letter and I set up the meeting, so if she did read it and she is gonna be there, I should be there too._

It was like a little conversation in my head between the little devil and the little angel you see in cartoons sometimes. The ones that popped up from out of nowhere onto your shoulders. Only mine were doing their bickering inside my head. And it wasn't an angel and a devil. No! Being supernatural and all, I didn't get that little devil and that little angel, I got a wolf and myself having a nice little conversation or argument—whatever you would call it, inside my head all the time. And they wonder why the wolves get a little crazy and out of control sometimes... Pfff... Wouldn't you, if you had two personalities fighting inside your head all the time? I've known people going crazy over far less then that... Weird native shit...

_I really have to stop talking to myself like this. Maybe it's time to be around people again. You know, having conversations with others instead of with myself..._

_Better get to the mountain. I still have a little time till noon, but there's no harm in getting there sooner. And I could get a little run on the mountain. Let the wolf free one last time, before I go back to society. I just hope it's not another waste of my time. I hope that she remembers the treasure part. I mean she was a little out of it at the time. X marks the spot, Bells, please remember. If she did go through with the wedding, I hope she will at least come to say goodbye to me..._

* * *

Somewhere on the mountain...

Bella's pov:

"Ok, Swan, is there anything here that seems remotely familiar?" Leah asked frustrated.

"Just give me a freaking minute, oké? I yelled back just as frustrated. I was looking around and for the life of me, I couldn't recognize anything. I was starting to panic and I could see that Leah and Alice both noticed that I had no clue to where we had to go. Leah looked pissed off and Alice looked concerned.

"We have been looking around for an hour, Swan! That is not a freaking minute!" Leah angrily yelled at me. I just glared at her at this point. I was beating myself up about this enough, I didn't need her to add to my pain.

"Why don't you start by clearing your mind, Bella? Get some perspective? Maybe recall the memory in your mind and let it help you find the place you have to go? You can't panic right now, 'cause time is not on our side here. You have to stay calm and focused." Alice explained, trying to calm me down.

"The fact that we don't have much time left isn't helping me stay calm and focused, Alice!" I yelled. She looked at me a little pained. Leah still looked pissed, but something else was showing as well. I thought I saw pity flash across her face. Great, now both thought I was pathetic. _Ok, Bella, come on, you can do this! Just clear you mind. And go back._

I closed my eyes, and I was twelve years old again. ..

*Flashback*

"Come on, Bells. The treasure is here somewhere, I can feel it!" A ten year old Jake yelled at me from a few feet ahead.

"Maybe we should make a map, Jake. You know, that when we find the treasure we can just put it back, but still be able to find it anytime we want," I yelled back at him.

"That sounds great, Bells, let's do that when we get home. But first, the treasure!" Jake smiled at me.

"Come on, kids, time to go back home!" Charlie yelled at us.

"Oh, but we haven't found the treasure yet!" We both yelled at the same time.

"Next time, kids! Now come on before it starts to get dark!" Billy yelled back at us.

Reluctantly we followed our fathers back down the mountain.

"Next summer when you visit we'll finish our quest for treasure, Bells. Don't worry. Then we'll make a map, and X will mark the spot where the treasure is." He winked at me and I smiled.

There never was a next time though. The summer after that I just complained about the cold and how I just wanted to stay in my room and be left alone. I never got to see Jacob again until I was seventeen and I moved back to Forks permanently. When Edward left, Jacob took me to that place again, but I was too depressed to even notice where it was. I didn't even see it until Jake explained to me where we were and even then, I didn't really care, to be honest. God, I was so selfish. I just sat against a tree and said nothing. I just stared into the distance. Jake took out his pocketknife and carved an X into the tree that I was sitting against.

"X marks the spot for the treasure." Jake smiled at me and I smiled back.

*End Flashback*

* * *

Suddenly my eyes flew open. I couldn't understand why I didn't remember that.

"X marks the spot!" I frantically yelled.

"What the hell are you talking about, Swan?" Leah yelled.

"Yes, Bella, what do you mean?" Alice asked.

"X marks the spot! Jacob carved an X into a tree somewhere on the mountain, that's where we have to go. That's where he's gonna be. I can't believe I didn't remember that right away. Come on you guys, let's go find my hidden treasure." I smiled and started looking around for that freaking X.

Leah and Alice also took off looking at every tree nearby.

After a few minutes of searching, Alice yelled out.

"Bella, I found it, I found it!" Leah was a little further away from me and we just looked at each other and started running to where Alice' voice came from.

The three of us just stood there staring at an X carved into a tree right in front of us.

"It's here, we found it! I can't believe we actually found it!" I yelled.

Leah and Alice started to move away and walk off into the forest.

"Hey, wait, where are you guys going?" I asked.

"We helped you get to where you are, Bella," Alice answered.

"Yeah, Swan, the rest is up to you now. You still have a half hour before noon. So that's plenty of time to figure out what you wanna tell him. That's something you need to do alone," Leah answered as well.

"Yeah, Bella, besides, I'm sure he doesn't want to have the two of us around when he's finally reunited with you." Alice smiled. Both of them started to walk away again.

"Thank you for everything—both of you! I couldn't have done it without you guys!" I yelled at them.

"You're welcome, and good luck!" Both yelled back at me while disappearing into the distance.

So here I was alone again. I made it in time. I hoped Jake would show. What if he thought it would be just a waste of time and decided not to come? What was I going to say to him if he did show up? Would he take me back? Would he even forgive me? Suddenly I heard a whisper from behind the trees that yanked me right out of my thoughts...

"Bella...?" My heart skipped a beat at the voice I heard...


	14. Update 2

Hi Everyone, I'm sorry I have abandoned this story. I had a little writersblock and then I discovered the world of Teen Wolf, so I kinda forgot about this. I will be starting the next chapter for this story soon and hope to be able to update within the next few months. Sorry to keep everybody hangin like that ;-) Hope you will enjoy the rest of the story.

Xoxox Brittekit


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